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Monthly Archives: August 2010

Everyday mentions the love we share, weather for foul or good. news and comedy are weighed against loves. the word becomes mute. and accepted for a silence. But reasoning often isn’t involved with a common love or a common unity globally, As i am learning from Winston Churchill’s the GAthering Storm,
“The Writing of history i leave for the next generation” who only cares about the world . about life. the sustained security of it. Who cares to look at history , for the pain leads to action , and we are all so lazy.. living.
there were a couple of events for which bring my attention to the flows here. time concidering events that live a laugh to astrology ,
and at the end of this piece i will leave my signs specialness .
today i saw my family. and At this point love them just for what they are and never have really been different. It is only us who lend ideas and characters to them , in that we miss them so much we never really want to mention it, for fear of forgetting the private mission that sent us off to fight a war alone.
I saw them in the form of little bits of letters. One from each, Mother writing hers scriptive like the caring neat very literate women she really is, the women that loved a troubled man, for who my life has be a repetition of. and no one has been able to make me see it. And only now can i see it. here part was directly what i needed , but did have the courage to ask her to step into the past for me. so i didn’t ask. I didn’t want to mess up her Day. but she filled in a piece i didn’t know with those twenty lines,
The Second from my brother for whom , talking has become a separateness, that never was there in the beginning. when i was going out into the world , alone, I called Jerry,( his name , mother is mother.) and after two years , before the last email,ten years since the last phone call received, 17 years since he called me. There is today.
His note was short, and not directed at me. It was a forced endeavor, Someone asked me to have another view on a childhood past for which i talk about, and can not prove. A childhood only my brother knows, and even as the effects of it has long ago worn off. He never mentions what happened. Not for a judgment of good or bad, just the facts.
I received a letter telling the judge , we had food. and That Kenny is a product of himself, his lack of good grades, his inability to give to society, Or the words were ” A productive member of society” a quote. ..
It is good to see your family sometimes. there little quirks you can expect really give a chuckle , as you know their every move, like reading a newyorktimes best seller. Just to see his face quickly writing this like his opinion of me has judicial merit, an overlord-ed piece of work, with ambiguous references, To Education , and what could have been.
I just saw my brother riding our bikes back from a swimming pool when we lived in Wrightsville. The summer elms , letting the the shadow of leaves , splottch the narrow road, Wild strawberries, and Rasberries on the sides, before the cow fenses. our ten speed clean and fast , He was so stubborn about everything.. lol.. …. You know I can only remember him being there , with me that one day, I can not remember that he always had to be “writer”, and i let him cause he was the older brother, I listened while reading the lines in front of me.
I heard ” I can not talk about the life we had lived. I am involved in my own and happiness stays where it knows the way” as every line came to prove to himself how over the past he is. But that is what we do. There is no wrong or right about it.
I crumbled up the paper, my eternal fight with my brother is over, i have never really minded any of it. he is still alive and i am happy, I will always love him, for he loves his life, and doesn’t understand any of mine.
I am not going to edit this except for the red lines.
you know i write in order to expose the changes we go though as people facing civil truth( societal conceptions governmental religious Each of the faces of Reason for which deny in order to proceed, which gainsay over common evolution, for economic corporate principals ,,, and all that ) and natural alignments. “The cursed animal is a shunned beast.” some dude said.
I picked up the piece of pager. The twenty lines, smoothed it out, It looks Typewritten, I feel for it, having been around my bother, lol.. love is a dark edge sword.. lol. and put it on the fridge, if anyone could say that many words about me , and give me the energy those did , i would bottle it. We are different as we are the same my brother and i , . We loved to Argue..
and you know its all my mothers fault.

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