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Monthly Archives: July 2013

Never accepting myself is where this all leads me, the reason for which come from an emotional nuclei more than a reasonable neutrino. with the right wrong and psychotic i understand of myself and move to cure through slow understanding and interaction.
I am hungry , I poured out my water in the dark thinking it was waste, didn’t check and maybe drank old orange juice. Maybe as in I am sure it was old, and not maybe I drank Orange juice.
the size of a book makes me remember days where this was my only goal. Even as it suppose to be hard it is a step of what i expect.

March 18th
A sick wind flys over the moist plane of a field.

Joan was just pullin gin the last of the laundry, it had been a nic day but as the sky truned grey , she had gone to grab what was left of the bed sheets which refused to be dry the time out.
She could not do the laundrey this way and had been paying and driving all winter, but today was a great day for it, well since morning.
claude was inside waiting for the paint to dry. Waiting for a hope to cross his throughts something which would help. something to ease the poverty of his and Joan’s life.
Jobs on the internet lead only to messages where he won the tottery in some place warm and would have to just give his bank account number address, social security number, and other information. shoe size was included on one, he guessed to fit for the fool’s costume, they would send later.
Would the hope come ? He was so smart. he thought about most things. He figured out almost everything he ever placed his mind to, built and or fixed lots of houses over the ten years on and off working carpentry which started just lifting shingles and watch for his hands with the saw, and ended with telling people or really answering question if the crew knew less than him, his boss always looked him in the eye when telling what was to be done, just before he ran off to get the next job or just say hello to the people who have jobs,, everyone worked,
So Claude knew he wasn’t that dumb. but he just couldn’t figure out economics. Not the part where it says, You have to have money to make money , he understood that . it He understood give a pear that cost a time the price of a dollar, Just cause you could.
Hell he figured everyone knew the Game called Drug wars but he couldn’t see spending his time that way , the catholic’s had a word for over charging. In fact all religious orders understood avarices. but it don’t feel right to make it a common practice, everything was such an investment.
Investment lead to pre planing of life. such that if my time is invested in scraping money from its owners, his soul would forget the second. would invest in physical pretend, a fostering of plastics pretentious plastic people . plastic potential. Intuition and souls, ecomonic is like shitting I have to do it but i dont want to talk about it. someone said sounds like mark twain, One thing clusde never did was give up his reading , Unemployment also suited him.He once even got to spend four months in jail just ketching up with contrempory publsihing He wouldnt call it letereture grammer school wouldnt cover his declairations so his writing he rately shared.
and when he did he cheapeened it some how wit his presents, we discount what is infront of us.
Staring at the computer screne gets one to wondering . how many micor waves can one person contact with ? before you get cancer. or how many animal studies were done before releaseing a wide screene just after he wondered what kind of sites did the rate go to . . the rain had started Jean ran in.

Two and a half acres had watched a sky together since 1924 as Movers would measure. Burdocks and crap grasses a two feet long.. again as Moblies would call them. escaping dead leaves and bits of trash , a high way , a small stretch along the eastern edge seperate from the other acres, the two and a half would all join together and sing. thought songs they call the , Movers hear it, As their word russelling , Wind against the long grass hairs , tenicals , feeling, “The sky passes. Clouds and their sick Jokes, Making shapes , just to amuse themselves. The jolly over all.”
Faces, and animals, long streaks of whitish slim puff ones condensed to frayed twine-ish-ness, or and larger puffs like countries, each edge a profile, shaded, changing with sun and multicolored in the moisture. Rain changes as then looking with heavy sober eyes sober, the weight of the world as exchange with a far away mother sea. Moblies are make of her, but only we are able to understand the breath of life a constant, Each for a place of being each an importance.